Camera Hannah - Alternative Wedding Photography Derby UK: Rangefinder's 30 Rising Stars of Wedding Photography 2014

Wednesday 15 October 2014

Rangefinder's 30 Rising Stars of Wedding Photography 2014

I found it really, really hard to write this. I've avoided it for the past couple of weeks.

So, I'm going to start by offering some context. 2005... I was 16 and I was pregnant and on this particular day I was sat in the careers office at my secondary school. I was in the first year of my A Levels. The school reluctantly agreed to me seeing out the year on a number of conditions. That I sit my exams in isolation. That I didn't attend the school trips we'd scrimped to pay for which were essential for my exams. And that I sit in this room on this particular occasion, with the father of my unborn child and a twentysomething who worked for a careers advice service. We had to have a joint meeting about our futures. It was an intervention in disguise. We talked about the things I'd wanted to do and I was told they weren't going to happen. When the twentysomething gave up on trying to tempt me into having an abortion, he began advising my ex boyfriend. When he told him he was really not keen to be involved with the baby, the twentysomething was visibly relieved. I sat there while the two of them nattered about his future "if you choose to withold your name from the birth certificate" the advisor said with a smile "you won't even have to pay maintenance". There are various points in life, that darker moments take you right back to.... that inform the decisions you make and the way you live your life. For me, that meeting was one of those. After my son was born I studied from home, I went to university, I built my business... but there has always been that fear that that twentysomething was right and amounting to something was only something other people could hope for. I've worried about letting people down. I've worried that I made family ashamed of my choices. I've been on a mission to prove that I can be a success.

And the reason I'm sharing this as context, and why I nearly didn't write this is... I'm really, really shit at being able to stop and appreciate how far I have come. Because when someone tells you you're going nowhere and you desperately want that not to be true... stopping doesn't really feel like an option. Usually, when something good happens I'm busy thinking about the things that need work, or looking forward. So the thought of writing a post about this incredible honour has filled me with a sort of dread.

But... I think I really owe it to that 16 year old me to write this. Because it is an incredible honour.

When I was nominated to submit images for Rangefinder's 30 Rising Stars of Wedding Photography... that would have been enough for me to be honest. Just to be invited was huge for me. I thought about previous winners... the likes of Emma Case, Assassynation, Sam Hurd, Nirav Patel, Andria Lindquist, Ed Peers, Sean Flanigan, Marianne Taylor... and I felt sure that I wouldn't be selected. And I was totally fine with that.

And then, a few weeks ago the email came. Telling me I'd been selected. My brain instantly whirred through all the reasons it might not be true... it's a joke... it's a mistake.... But it was true.

And it would be very easy for me to go with that feeling in my gut like I should just keep looking ahead to the next thing... and I will very soon... But just for a little bit I am going to enjoy it.

I am going to be grateful for my awesome clients and the trust they put in me, for my family, for my mates and my peers who have encouraged me over the last four and a half years. And I'm grateful to you for making it through what is, let's face it, a rather self-indulgent post. 





15 comments:

  1. oh Hannah, first of all congratulations, your work is phenomenal & I'm so thrilled you have been recognised, second of all, you are an inspiration. Having been born to a young single mother myself, I know the struggles that us kids can create, from the moment we are born. My wee mammy has since worked her butt off, got her well deserved education, done incredibly well & given me everything I could ever ask for. So whenever you get to those dark moments just know that your little baby is probably overwhelmingly proud of his mum, even if they don't show it all the time, and really that's something to be proud of.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautifully put and absolutely deserved Hannah - DO enjoy this for longer than a little bit. So happy to have got to know you because of this list. :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Totally amazing. Haters are always going to hate!! You breathe passion and have grown into someone that stands out from the crowd, you should be so proud of yourself. This is all on you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congratulations! The 16 year old you will be so proud, and rightly so x

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a new-found amount of respect for your face after reading this, and not only for the award, which you deserved without one shred of a doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I remember that frightened 16 year old well.

    You've come so far both personally and professionally.

    Proud of you

    ReplyDelete
  7. Reading this post, I am both incredibly sad that such imbecile twentysomethings actually exist (disrespectful, rude, unthinking, sexist, offensive, just plain ludicrous...the list goes on, but I digress), and utterly delighted for how far you've come. From everything I've seen and all of the testimonials I've read, you're a brilliant photographer and an even better human. Can't wait for you to unleash your brilliance on our engagement shoot (less than 3 weeks!) and wedding. Soooooo excited.

    Pat yourself firmly on the back, hug your beautiful family, have a bit of cake and a side of self indulgence. You deserve it ;) x

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are amazing at what you do, Hannah, congrats! x

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are a fantastic photographer, and an inspiration to anyone who has a baby at a young age.

    Your school should be ashamed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can't believe how much this story makes me want to give you a massive bear hug and tell you how awesome this is. And how awesome you are! I'm so glad you put it in context with 16-year-old you; it just makes it so much sweeter and more perfect. GO YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  11. what an amazing 16 years old…no wonder she turned out into the wonderful woman, mother, photographer you are now!!xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. These are stunning images, I love what you do and you should be so proud.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Your words are beyond inspirational. So are the images you create. Congratulations! You truly deserved it! The 16 year old that against all odds became the woman you are today were truly a beautiful human being for the perseverance she carried within. It takes courage and faith, and the truest of hearts! Congratulations Hannah! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for your honesty and congratulations on such a huge achievement, as well as all for the journey you've taken to get to this place. x

    ReplyDelete
  15. Such a lovely post! Your work is amazing and your words are as warming as the wonderful moments and expressions you capture in your photos.

    Bask in this wonderful moment Hannah, that 16 year old would be / should be very proud! x

    ReplyDelete